If Bugs Were People, You’d Be China

If Bugs Were _____, You’d Be _____

July 23rd, 2007 by Hans Bjordahl :: 41 Comments

The nice thing about the “If Bugs Were People, You’d Be China” joke is that it’s almost infinitely extensible. Really, try it: “If Bugs Were _____, You’d Be _____.”

When the “If Bugs Were” comic ran in the internal newsletter of a large Northwest software company, I used it to incite just such a company-wide contest. Funny how when you open the gates like that, you learn that your readers are actually funnier than you are.

The best lines from that particular contest are included below. (Individuals aren’t credited only because no one gave me explicit permission to expose their names beyond the firewall – but the writers are encouraged to claim credit if they happen to be reading this.)

10) If bugs were coffee, you’d be Starbucks.

9) If bugs were reruns, you’d be “Gilligan’s Island”

8) If bugs were money, you’d be Bill Gates.

7) If bugs were Elvis sightings, you’d be a supermarket tabloid.

6) If bugs were tornadoes, you’d be a trailer park in Kansas.

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Bug Bash is a comic strip written and illustrated by Hans Bjordahl. Bug Bash is a comic strip about technology: managing technology, the business of technology. It's about project management and managing projects through the dull world of Rational Rose, use cases, and requirements. Functional requirements, user requirement, functional specifications, design specifications, call it what you want but it's still the bane of project managers. And when you're done with that, you can think about all the fun that comes with timelines, scheduling, estimates (PERT estimation anyone?) and resourcing until Gantt charts are coming out of your ears. Let's not forget the risk management in the software engineering life cycle. Maintaining the project is just as much fun, managing what was initially set out in requirements and trying to keep feature creep / scope creep in check with change management. If any of these words send nightmares to you, the project manager, then this site probably rings true with you. (Who Links Here?)